June 10th, 2020
Up since 4am. It was my 50th birthday yesterday and honestly when I was diagnosed at 47 i didn't think i would make it to 50 so it's pretty monumental. I awoke at 4am...cannot sleep -probably due to going to an actual restaurant for the first time since covid hit and i had a REAL dessert with SUGAR! Against my diet i know...but it was my birthday. Now feeling guilty...mostly bc I am getting my HUGE (biocept microscopic cancer cell test and 20-25 more vials for around 40 other blood tests needed for Dr Nalini Chilkov) battery of blood tests drawn and i know the sugar will show up on them. it was a silly thing to do but i am letting it go. It was just one dessert!!!! I am also scared...there are several fears I have now regarding blood tests.
PTSD: my former juicy veins are now tiny hard to find strings which makes getting my blood taken quite frustrating and painful. I just started crying even thinking about it. There is a PTSD that came after the cancer was long gone...and part of it for me was needles. THANKFULLY i have found a mobile phlebotomist named Keith who is sooooo good. it's rare to find a good phlebotomist but on of my BEST PIECES OF ADVICE is to ALWAYS ask "who is your best sticker" when you are getting blood drawn. At a doctors office there is always one or two women/men that everyone knows is the best. try to wait for them! I did not get a port so i got stuck a lot! I pray I have pounded enough water yesterday and this morning to make my veins more visible.
TIP: 1. Drink LOTS of water even if you are fasting before a blood test and even put a little salt into the water to help retain it.(trying to down another bottle as i type this!)
TIP 2. Take a face towel and run hot water over it. make it into a compress over ur veins right up until it's time to get stuck. it helps!
FEAR OF THE RESULTS: Along with staying vigilant comes a fear about getting a bad test result. this time even more so bc it has been many months since i have been tested. Covid has made me a bit lazy with taking both sets of my supplements each day...and also my diet hasn't been 100%. these are the things i think about the night before a blood test. when you have a cancer that normally recurs there is always the fear of it coming back. so i'm there. right now. hello fear...
TIP: 1. Remember most everyone feels thing way...DAILY! So none of us are alone.
TIP: 2. If you stay on top of your blood tests...every two to three months you can catch microscopic cells BEFORE they start to create something unmanageable.
I am not sure if this helped or gave any helpful information. Sometimes it's just good to share so i thank you for being here and listening...